Creep

Everyday is just another worthless day.

An endless struggle to catch blurry dreams. She goes to school, being judge, get bullied by a bunch of mean girls who can't stop saying about mean things about her. Her crush has in love with another girl with a perfect body, perfect smile, and perfect hair. Her crush didn't ever notice her. Just a simple 'HI' or take a glimpse to see her face. What they didn't know is she have an insecure soul. She get overthink about everything, even small things that she actually shouldn't mind. Her insecurity increased every night when she tries to sleep. Eventually she cried in the middle of the night and cut herself out. She had a thought that she'll die if she couldn't escape her insecurity.

Some said 'There's no place like home'. She doubt the phrase. Her definition about home is a place full of tears, scattered memories, broken dreams, and fights. Yes, her mother and father had an endless fight about unimportant things. The thing is, they never want to sit, relax, and try to solve the problems like an adult. She tried to deny them but the hatred is louder than her faith. Her soul is slowly fading away.

She can't even remember how may times she attempt suicide. The scars behind her sleeve are countless. Her pillow is filled with tears. The sunset has been a silent witness of her fight against the world. She's dying. She feel worthless and not needed. She's too insecure to lift her face, wipe her tears, and tell the world that she's beautiful, inside and outside. Despite all of the scars and the swollen eyes. She hoped too much, she get nothing. She's the one who saw models on the magazines and thinks that she couldn't be one of them with the face she have. She's the one who weigh her body every second, everyday, everytime. She's the one who thrown all of her meals and ended up eat nothing just for a perfect body she's craving for. She think its worth it.Every time of her life she feel unwanted, guilty, reckless, and she think that she don't belong to this world.

That girl I'm talking about is me.