Kesä

Hari yang berlalu. Jam yang berdetik. Daun yang gugur. Bintang yang berkelip.

Nafas yang terhembus. Mimpi yang hilang. Tawa yang meredam.

Memori yang tertinggal.

Engkau dimana, pecahan hati yang hilang?

Mungkin kau sudah berlari pergi bersamanya.

Mungkin kau sudah berbagi lara dan air mata dengannya.

Yang dulu disampingmu hanya ada aku seorang.

Dulu kamu membiarkan headset itu tergantung untukku.

Yang dahulu tawa itu kau bagi denganku.

Dulu kita berjalan berdampingan, menikmati angin semilir dan terik matahari. 

Semua itu berubah cepat. Terlalu cepat.

Layaknya musim, aku digantikan dengan dirinya.

Aku terlupakan dan menghilang entah kemana.

Mungkin sepenggal cerita yang kita rajut itu telah perlahan menghilang.

Pergi dari pojokan anganmu yang berliput debu.

Tak tahu harus sampai kapan aku memendam hal ini.

Memendam cinta yang mungkin tak pernah terbalas.

Entah harus berapa lama lagi aku menatap dirimu 

Dari balik jendela masa lalu yang terlupakan.

Aku merindukanmu.

Tapi, semua hal memang terbuat untuk terganti.

Smile

Remember,
You are the chosen one. The survivor. The lucky strike.

Remember,
You are beautiful, no matter what they think about you. No matter what
you think about yourself, or your unperfect body. You are someone's world.

Remember,
Those razors, alcohols, and pills are not good for you. Put that away, far away
from your precious body. You know that you are way better than this.

Remember,
You have the best family in the world. You don't choose them. God determine it.
Because He knows you deserve them and they deserve you.

Remember,
Life's too short to act stupid and clumsy. Sometimes you need to play
with your adrenaline and your sanity. That doesn't mean smoking and drugs.

Remember,
Everything happens for a reason. So do you.

for u, pal

Jatuhlah suatu hari dimana malamnya begitu indah. Semua tampak begitu elok dan sunyi dari balkon mungil seorang gadis kesepian. Ia menatap langit malam. Sinar bulan menyinari rambutnya yang terkulai lemas di bahunya. Bintang bertabur bebas diantas karpet hitam tanpa awan. Gadis itu ikut terdiam dengan malam. Namun teriakan batinnya bergema hingga ujung dunia. Ia tersesat dalam realita. Diantara dunia yang baru ini. Ia lelah. Air mata luka mengalir dari matanya. Mencoba melupakan realita sejenak, ia menatap langit.

Bintang-bintang berkelip seperti sedang tertawa. Satu bintang yang tak berkelip. Hanya terdiam, memancarkan cahayanya. Ia berada jauh dari bintang lain. Bermilyar tahun cahaya. Bintang itu berada dalam naungan sang bulan, yang tergantung diatas langit seperti senyuman indah yang dicuri. Bintang itu berada jauh dari bintang lain. Namun, tampak ia nyaman berpijar disebelah sang bulan. Mereka tak sama, bahkan mereka tak sedikitpun sempurna. Nampaknya mereka tak peduli. Yang terpenting adalah mereka mencoba bersinar seterang mungkin untuk memberi pesan untuk gadis kesepian yang menatap mereka nun jauh dibawah sana.

Mencoba memberi tahu bahwa ia tak sendiri.. Ia bukan percobaan gagal Sang Pencipta. Ia bukan seorang buruk rupa yang selalu ia bayangkan. Bahwa ia lebih dari apa yang orang lain katakan tentang dirinya. Ia spesial, layaknya sang bulan dan bintang tak berkelip. Sang bintang melesat pergi dan bersinar dimata sang gadis. Sang bulan pergi mengembalikan senyumannya yang hilang.

Malam itu begitu sunyi. Namun tak lagi untuk gadis itu. Ia tak sendiri. Ia bahagia. Ia punya teman.

Dedicated to my.........i don't even know what should i call her xx

Creep

Everyday is just another worthless day.

An endless struggle to catch blurry dreams. She goes to school, being judge, get bullied by a bunch of mean girls who can't stop saying about mean things about her. Her crush has in love with another girl with a perfect body, perfect smile, and perfect hair. Her crush didn't ever notice her. Just a simple 'HI' or take a glimpse to see her face. What they didn't know is she have an insecure soul. She get overthink about everything, even small things that she actually shouldn't mind. Her insecurity increased every night when she tries to sleep. Eventually she cried in the middle of the night and cut herself out. She had a thought that she'll die if she couldn't escape her insecurity.

Some said 'There's no place like home'. She doubt the phrase. Her definition about home is a place full of tears, scattered memories, broken dreams, and fights. Yes, her mother and father had an endless fight about unimportant things. The thing is, they never want to sit, relax, and try to solve the problems like an adult. She tried to deny them but the hatred is louder than her faith. Her soul is slowly fading away.

She can't even remember how may times she attempt suicide. The scars behind her sleeve are countless. Her pillow is filled with tears. The sunset has been a silent witness of her fight against the world. She's dying. She feel worthless and not needed. She's too insecure to lift her face, wipe her tears, and tell the world that she's beautiful, inside and outside. Despite all of the scars and the swollen eyes. She hoped too much, she get nothing. She's the one who saw models on the magazines and thinks that she couldn't be one of them with the face she have. She's the one who weigh her body every second, everyday, everytime. She's the one who thrown all of her meals and ended up eat nothing just for a perfect body she's craving for. She think its worth it.Every time of her life she feel unwanted, guilty, reckless, and she think that she don't belong to this world.

That girl I'm talking about is me.